--FUN WITH WORDS--

I've had this blog forever and it's a damn shame that it's going to waste like this. But no more! I shall fill it with knowledge just as a caring mother bird fills its crying chick with the warm mush of a wriggling earthworm! At some point I'll try to post something useful, but for now gorge yourself on the leftovers of tonight's office banquet.

Recently our company (the Japanese branch) went public, and so the company honcho (shacho, actually) flew over to the states to celebrate. We went out to eat, fine dining, fine drinks, the works. My manager was getting a little tipsy, and since I never miss an opportunity to harass others, I asked another coworker how to say 'that dude is drunk' in Japanese. Knowing I was likely to embarrass myself as well as everyone around me, she was understandably hesitant. But of course she gave in and told me (I've already forgotten, but I think it was 'yoppari').

So I looked at our multi-million dollar company's president and told him my manager was very yoppari indeed. He laughed and sort of stared off at nothing for a second, thinking. Then he uttered something that sounded like 'sheet office'. My coworker thought it was Japanese and she'd just misheard, while I assumed, based on my own periodic ramblings, that it was harmless gibberish. He repeated it again - 'sheet office'. Still nothing. Seeing how lost we were, he slowed it down for us - 'she toe-faced'. This one actually sounded like English! I chewed it over in my mind, then I started laughing as I spit it out.

'Shit-faced?' I asked through laughter and chewed meat. His face lit up immediately. He pointed at the drunkard and said again, 'Shit-faced!', this time loud enough for the entire table of 13 to hear. 'Shit-faced!' Everyone had a good laugh at the drunk's expense as he drowned his eternal shame in another glass of pinot noir. Japanese people are neat.